I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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