All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
