Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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