Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
