Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
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my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
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I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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