Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
