is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
