yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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