the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
