I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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