dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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