i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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