party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
