she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
