are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
