12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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