Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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