I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
North Korea, Best Korea!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
foreskin is a definite game changer
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
