just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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