As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
