My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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