Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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