i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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