I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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