I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
