He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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