And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
