I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
