On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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