I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Randomize
