I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
