You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
