he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
All the doctor said was why
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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