why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
