you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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