i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
