i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
