I must be too annoying 4 u.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
