dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
