i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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