so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
