I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
