: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
