ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
