I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
