Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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