I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
