i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Do vagina's smell?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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