i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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