I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize