I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize