I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
