Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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