Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
