So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
