did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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