Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I want a musical about memes.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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