matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
too bad you live with your parents still
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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