I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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