marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
