The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
