My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
