I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
And the cops told us we were all naked.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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